As a mama..I worry. ALOT. I pray ALOT that im doing the right thing, saying the right things, being soft enough, hard enough, mommy enough..the list could go on and on. My biggest fear is that I don't teach my kids about our Lord and Savior. (Sidenote:if you wanna kw more please feel free to hmu :))) I have really really worried ab it and that I wont get my point across. A few weeks ago, Kaylee started asking questions, ALOT of questions. I wasnt sure exactly how to answer all of them..but decided going with blunt honest truth. She seemed to accept my answers and we moved onward. Then she went to VBS at Fairplay...which every night she had a laundry list of questions to which I prayed that I would have strength and give her correct answers and guide her down to correct path. She once again seemed content and went on her way. Last week she attended Family Farm which is a christian day camp out by our house. On the last day they had a closing program and I went to watch. As we we're waiting on it to start Kaylees counselor came up and said "Did Kaylee tell you her good news? She was saved today!" I looked at Kaylee and with her big blue eyes that are so innocent said, "I went to the salvation station and asked God into my heart." Let me tell you...there isnt anything in the entire world that could've came outta that kids mouth that would have made me happier than that. Which I will admit I did freak out a tiny bit bc i wanted to make sure she fully understood what she was doing. But after many many conversations, I am confident that Kaylee has accepted Jesus as her Savior. The amount of emotions I have..I cant even put into words. All that worry..all the prayers...everything was worth it bc i know my baby girl knows Jesus. <3

Until you've walked in my shoes...

I often times dont share alot about my own personal life on facebook or my blog. I share alot about my kids and josh and things like that..mostly happy everyday things. But thats not everything about me. Pinterest is my new favorite addiction. I love love love it. I happened to find this picture the other day and it literally made me stop and have a "oh shit" moment. Do Not Judge "You don't know what storm I've asked her to walk thru." -God Wow...i mean this hits right at homeplate for me. I don't share alot bc my past..its well my past. But lets just say (if your not one of my close friends that know what im talking ab) i have lots of demons hiding in my shadows. I try to shoo them away, ignore them, just about everything but sometimes I still have those "days". The days the nightmares come, the panic attacks set it, the memories rehash themselves. Those days...those days I have to fight to get outta bed, to leave the protection of under my husbands arms. Those days it takes everything I have to get thru..and it never fails. Those days..someone is gonna be pissed or annoyed or hurt because maybe I didn't say Hi or seemed upset or didnt smile. This literally hits the nail on the head. Do not Judge...you have no idea the storm she's had to walk thru. <3

7 Years! Say WHAT!?!?!

7 YEARS!!! Kaylee Rayh is going to be 7 years old tomorrow! Say WHAT!?!?!?! This child is literally the smartest most incredible kid. She makes me a better person..she makes me want to be a better person. She has so so much love amd compassion for a child. Her heart is huge and she loves so much. She is so pure and innocent. It makes my heart fill when i think ab it. She is doing so awesome in school and is so so smart. She is the absolute best big sister EVER! Hawk thinks she walks on water and she couldnt love him any more if she tried. I hope she knows how incredible I think she is. I had no concept of true love until I met her. She has taught me unconditional love, patience, how my heart can function outside my body, and she made me a mommy. I thank God every day for giving me such a incredible gift. I am so so thankful He picked me to be her mommy.